Coaching, Supervision, Mentoring, Facilitation

The Elusive Life Balance

How many of you feel that you have balance in your life at the moment or I should say most of the time? Many, or indeed perhaps all, of you have heard the term Work/Life Balance. I would like to remove the phrase Work/Life Balance and replace it with the term Life Balance. After all, work is part of life just as is play.

Let’s take a look at how the dictionary defines balance.

One definition is a state of equilibrium.

Another definition is mental steadiness.

So how do we achieve either, or in fact both, of these states. Well the first step is to understand what I refer to as the three elements.

The first element is the self. That’s you. The person that you are and how you relate to things, people, and situations around you.

The second element is family. That can be your immediate family of spouse, children, brothers, sisters, parents or extended family of cousins, in laws, aunts, and uncles.

The third element is the community. And this is the community at large. A group of people that you associate with in pursuit of common objectives. It could be work, church, associations to which you belong, clubs, or even the gym. By the way, you can belong to many communities.

So these are the three elements that you need to keep in balance. And when I say balance I do not necessarily mean 1/3 for each element. You will be the decider on what balance is appropriate for you. You will know that you have achieved balance by a feeling of contentment that comes from within in you. Finding balance and maintaining it is a journey and a continual work in progress. Even balanced people get out of balance occasionally. By the way, the three elements were listed in the order that I believe they should receive attention. After all if you are not balanced within your self, or know who you are, it will be extremely hard to achieve balance in the other two elements.

Let’s start with the self. You will be pleased to know that there are three elements associated with the self as well. And balance is required among these three elements.

The first aspect of self is the physical aspect. This relates to things like

Exercise

Nutrition

Environment

The physical things ABOUT you and AROUND you.

The next element is psychological. The psychological aspect of self relates to things such as:

Mind

Feelings

Emotions

How often have you heard the expression “A healthy mind is a sound mind.” or “You’re as young as you feel.”

The third Element is Spiritual and it relates to areas involving

Your inner essence, your BEING

Values

Soul

It is a very ethereal and fragile thing the spiritual element. It is very delicate. How many times have you heard the expression “Their sprit was broken.” or “Don’t break their spirit.”

These three elements are often referred to as Body, Mind and Spirit.

So the question is how do we get balance among these elements. As I said earlier it is not necessary to have 1/3 for each of the elements. You alone will be able to determine what is the correct balance for you. But, how do we know when we are in balance or out of balance?

Some people when they are feeling balance have a feeling of:

Well being

Contentment

Bliss

Belonging

Feeling good

Energetic

Some people when they are in imbalance feel:

Stress

Anxiety

Fear

Pain in parts of their body

In a fog

Irritable

Take a moment, what do you feel right now?

An interesting way to look at the balance/imbalance situation is from a results and  reasons point of view. Statistically it has been shown that people who feel balanced in their life are more results oriented. They take more control over their lives and as a result achieve the type of results they want in life. The people who have imbalance in their life have reasons or excuses why things didn’t work out for them. And strangely enough, it is typically not their fault that it didn’t work out. They were victims.

Remember, everything is your responsibility, not your fault. Think about it and enjoy your journey

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When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.

Ernest Hemingway